Jokes

The Race for First

In one of the conventions of the United Nations, a few years back, the three Heads of State below, who happened to be seated close to each other, were overheard in a soft but very emphatic conversation:

President Putin of Russia: “We are the first in space.”

President Bush of the U.S.A.: “Yeah, but we are first in the moon. “

President Estrada of the Philippines: “Ah, excuse me Gentlemen, I promise you we will be the first in the sun. “

The two Presidents: “But how will you do that? The sun is too hot as you feel it during the day.”

President Estrada: “WE ARE NOT STUPID, WE WILL GO THERE AT NIGHT!”

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Ang Bus..

Question: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng bus sa akin?
Answer: Ang bus may station; ako may playstation!

Question: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng bus at politician?
Answer: Ang bus nasisiraan; ang politician nagsisiraan!

Question: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng bus at Malakanyang?
Answer: Sa bus pinapaupo ang nakatayong babae; sa Malakanyang pinapaalis ang nakaupong babae!
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The 3 Stooges (or Fools)

(In the corner of one of the rooms inside the National Mental Hospital, three fools were heard talking to each other):

Fool1: “You know men?! You are simply nothing compared to me. I am very powerful. I am the President of the Republic of the Philippines!”

Fool2: “It’s no wonder why your country is so poor. You have a foolish President. You are simply nothing compared to me. I am the President of the United States of America!”

Fool3: “And who told you that?!”

Fool2: “God told me so..”

Fool3: “And when did I tell you?!!”

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